


Tainted

by dreyars



Category: ALL OUT!! - Amase Shiori (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Doubt, Comfort, Established Relationship, I Tried, M/M, Request Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 08:05:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9114295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreyars/pseuds/dreyars
Summary: They were two big personalities crammed into one small space. Hana would push, Ebumi pushed back, and they would explode, cutting into each other as they went down, left only with each other in the end. They only had each other to save, and only each other to hold when they knocked each other down.But what they had together was worth all the pain.





	

His mouth was so foul. Tainted. Words black and cruel and dripping with spite as he spat them right in Ebumi’s face.

Ebumi could never let him know, never would let him know, how those words got to him. How they made his vision dim and his body tense and his mind go blank.

Sometimes, he would do just about anything to make Hana shut up, just to make those words, those taunts and criticisms and scathing remarks stop.

They fought all the time. They were two big personalities crammed into one small space and sometimes, they just bit back at each other too much.  They would explode, cutting into each other as they went down, left only with each other in the end as they realized how stupid they were being and that it wasn’t worth it.

It was never worth it, because it always took away from the good time they were having minutes before shit hit the fan.

Hana just made him _so angry_ sometimes. They’d only been dating for a few months now, and they had probably shouted at each other more than his parents did in their entire marriage.  What was worse was that Ebumi _knew_ Hana was just trying to rile him up, to get under his skin and make him show a little bit of care and passion.

And he let himself fall for it every. Damn. Time.

Their time together that day started no different.  A mandatory date to premise them going back to Hana’s house and climbing in to bed, to make it _seem_ like they were an actual couple and not just one that fucked and went their separate ways.  That’s what they had been at first, and somewhere along the way, Ebumi had decided that’s not what he wanted them to be anymore.

Ebumi cared about him.  He had no fucking idea why, but he cared about him and wanted to be with him as more than just a fuck buddy.  Sure, that was nice in its own kind of way, but it wasn’t meaningful.  It always left him feeling grumpy and bitter when he had to leave immediately after seeing Hana, when all he really wanted to do was stay.

But tonight, Ebumi wasn’t sure what he wanted.  To stay? To go home and just forget this whole night even happened?

The one thing he was sure of was that he wanted to throw Hana down, remind him of what this was. Who _he_ was and what that meant.

Hana was his. His boyfriend, meant for his eyes and his hands alone.

Ebumi wasn’t sure what had gotten into Hana’s head that night, as he flirted with the waiter, openly ogled every other man that walked by their table, and making comments about what it would be like to be with them. What it would be like for him without Ebumi.

Reminding Ebumi that Hana could have any guy he wanted, even if his personality was as terrible as a pile of shit.

Ebumi already knew that. Of course he did. He worried about losing Hana to some other sorry fuck every time they went their separate ways at the end of their dates. 

He didn’t appreciate being reminded of it. Especially when all Hana was doing was trying to make him angry.

He hoped that Hana got what he wanted…

Hana always said that he liked it when Ebumi got a bit jealous because it made him more fun afterwards. He liked it rough, to be bruised, marked and left sore and weak.

But Hana. He didn’t stop.  The irritation and jealousy would’ve been enough to fuel him. It would’ve given Hana what he always wanted.

But he didn’t stop.

Hana didn’t stop his taunting, his cruel words.

Reminding Ebumi that he wasn’t Hana’s first.

That Hana had sucked one of his senpai’s dicks after Sagami beat Jinko. 

That while he and Ebumi were just fuck buddies, he never stopped fucking other guys too.

Ebumi didn’t know what made him snap. It could’ve been one of the awful things Hana had spit right in to his face, tearing him down until he lost the last thing that held him back from completely tearing Hana apart.  Or, it may have been Hana’s laugh, mocking Ebumi as he thrust into him, pushing his small body down into the bed, telling Ebumi that he wasn’t enough.

That he had never been, and never would be enough.

Ebumi barely remembers what happened after he had bit into Hana’s shoulder, trying to get him to just _shut up_ without putting his hands around his pretty neck. They had tried that once before, and Hana had nearly cried, so Ebumi tried his best not to cross that line again.

But something had made Hana shut up. Something he had done.

Ebumi pulled out and tied off the condom, tossing it into the small trashcan beside Hana’s bed.  His shoulders were still tense, the anger still lingering, even after Hana had shut his big mouth about halfway through. Hana’s legs were still spread around Ebumi’s waist, too lazy or too tired to bother making himself decent.

But his entire body was limp. As if he didn’t care, couldn’t be bothered, was trying to pretend like Ebumi wasn’t there.  Not because he was too tired to move, and certainly not because he was waiting out the high that came after sex.

Hana’s stomach was clean, his little cock lying flat against his body as if he had never been hard in the first place.

Ebumi frowned, more for himself than for show. Hana wasn’t even looking at him. Rather, his face was turned to the side, staring blankly at the wall as his chest rose and fell in deep purposeful breaths.  His lips were puckered in an exaggerated pout and Ebumi sighed.

He knew that look.  It was familiar from all the times that Ebumi had been the one who pushed too far. Hana was trying not to cry.

Ebumi sighed as he slid from between Hana’s legs, stepping on to the floor to at least find their underwear before slipping back into bed. Hana shied away from him as he sat down beside him, rolling to face the wall completely, knees pulled up towards his stomach.

Ebumi tried to lay down beside him, wrapping an arm around Hana’s waist to pull him up against his chest, but his hand was quickly slapped away.

Hana covered his face his face with his hands, trying to keep Ebumi from seeing the tears on his cheeks as he hissed at him. “Don’t _touch_ me.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ebumi sat up again and tried to roll Hana onto his back.  He was met with kicks and a palm to the face as Hana fought back, forcing Ebumi to keep his distance.

In the mix of their little scuffle, he saw it. While trying to get him to behave and tell him what was wrong, Ebumi saw amongst the normal bites and bruises that littered Hana’s body the dried blood on his shoulder that only could’ve come from Ebumi’s teeth.

Letting Hana go, Ebumi stood from the bed, tossing a blanket over Hana’s curled up body.  He heard Hana’s pathetic little sniffles as he walked to the bathroom in the hallway, grabbing a soft washcloth and wetting it with cold water.  He returned to Hana’s room and rustled through his boyfriend’s dresser for clean clothes. Placing them on the table beside Hana’s bed, Ebumi sat beside Hana’s body, brushing his hair off his forehead with the tips of his fingers.  Hana still refused to look at him, but he had stopped sniffling at least. But, crying silently into his pillow didn’t make Ebumi feel much better.

Hana didn’t even have to say a word to let Ebumi known he had been too rough.  He’d gone too far, and Hana was probably hurting right now.  Ebumi only wished that the pain was all physical so that Hana wasn’t shaking when Ebumi pulled the covers away from his body.

Pressing gently on Hana’s shoulder, Ebumi tried to get the boy to roll onto his back again, bracing for any claws that were about to come out.  But Hana seemed to have exhausted the last of his energy, and simply whined and stayed put while Ebumi pressed on his skin again.

“Mitsuo, I need to clean your shoulder.”

Hana whined again, lips pressed tightly together, but finally gave in as Ebumi lightly pushed against his shoulder again. He continued to cover his face with his arms, making it difficult to reach the mark on his shoulder, but Ebumi didn’t force him farther.

The bite mark wasn’t very deep, only a few punctures marring Hana’s skin.  It wouldn’t scar, but it had been severe enough to make Hana bleed. Ebumi carefully wiped away the dried blood with the washcloth, cleaning up the cut without making it start to bleed again. Ebumi wanted to kiss the bite mark, to will away the negative energy and hopefully make it feel a little bit better, but Hana would probably punch him if he tried to force away his arms just to put his lips on his shoulder. So he settled for a kiss to Hana’s wrist, the one directly covering Hana’s eyes.  Ebumi lightly touched his lips to Hana’s skin for only a moment before moving on, not wanting to press his luck.

Ebumi ran his hands over Hana’s torso, barely grazing the skin as he checked for any more nicks or bruises that he had caused while he was upset. Luckily, there were no more scars on Hana’s body than what they began with.  All of his bruises were simply the result of rugby, not Ebumi.  That didn’t stop him from running his fingers lightly over each one, making Hana shiver under his touch as he soothed any residual pain he may have caused by pressing into the bruises.

After the bite mark on his shoulder, Hana’s hips were what Ebumi was most ashamed of. Ebumi could still see the red marks where he had dug his fingers into Hana’s skin, holding him tight and pressing him down as he spread his legs farther than they were probably meant to go. Hana’s skin was so fair and always bruised so easily that he’d probably have large bruises there in the morning that would be telltale signs of what Hana had been up to.  He’d…never done that to Hana before. Never held him so tightly that it left a mark. It wasn’t one that Hana could wear proudly the next day, not like the hickies Ebumi normally left scattered over his neck.  Ebumi knew he couldn’t fix this, couldn’t make it better, even as he kissed the soft skin around the bruises, trying to make them disappear.

Hana hissed in discomfort and Ebumi moved on, trying to reduce the pain.  He ran his hands over Hana’s thighs, massaging the muscles with his finger tips to try and get Hana to relax. Hana kept his legs firmly pressed together, and Ebumi clicked his tongue in irritation.

“I’m not trying to do anything you know. I’m just trying to clean you up so you can put your clothes back on.”

Hana huffed, letting Ebumi slide between his legs again as he slightly spread his knees. Ebumi glanced at Hana’s face, trying to see if he was all right. But Hana’s bottom lip was shaking, his hands clenched into tight fists.  Ebumi couldn’t tell if he was crying any more, but he proceeded slowly, touching each little area of Hana’s body with caution. The washcloth touched Hana’s body first, wiping away the now sticky lubricant that they had used before.  They were always a little sloppy when getting ready, leading to a mess all over Hana’s thighs and ass even when Ebumi used a condom. To avoid further upsetting Hana, Ebumi decided to not clean him completely for now, only wiping away the visible evidence on his thighs.

Hana’s legs were trembling, shaking in Ebumi’s hands with each little touch. Ebumi traced the muscles of Hana’s legs from his hip to his toes, rubbing at the skin and relaxing the muscles until Hana slowly turned to jelly under his fingers.  Hana’s entire body lost its tenseness at Ebumi’s touch, relaxing back into the bed as Ebumi focused on his task.

Make him comfortable, make him feel loved, make him see that you didn’t mean it.

Ebumi bit at his lip as he worked, trying to hold back the anger he held towards himself. Hana didn’t deserve that rough treatment, even if he was asking for it with every word he said.  Ebumi hated this.  This feeling of knowing he had hurt the one person who had found it in himself to put up with his sorry ass.  He knew he’d never be able to erase the hurt, terrified expression on Hana’s face out of his mind. Even if he made up for it somehow. Even if Hana forgave him.

“You scared me.”

Ebumi looked up from where he was seated between Hana’s legs, pausing his massage of Hana’s left calf.  Hana had propped himself up on his arms, barely leaning up off of the pillows so that he could stare down at Ebumi.  His eyes were still red from crying, and Ebumi made a mental note to clean the dried tears off of Hana’s cheeks when he was done with his legs.

For a split second, Ebumi wanted to bite back at him. To blame Hana for this, say it was his fault for all the awful things he had said to Ebumi to lead him to this point.  But that wouldn’t have been fair.  It wouldn’t have been heartfelt either.  Sure, Hana had said some shitty things, and they really needed to talk about that eventually so that they didn’t get stuck in a rut of being awful to each other and hurting each other for no reason. But this. This was Ebumi’s fault.

No matter how much Hana riles him up, Ebumi shouldn’t have handled it this way.  He shouldn’t have been so rough just to get back at Hana.

He shouldn’t have hurt Hana, even on accident, just because Hana had hurt him.

“I know.” Ebumi squeezed Hana’s calf, lifting his leg just enough that he could kiss his knee. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t do it again.” Hana’s voice hiccupped, but his face still held strong with his pout, not letting Ebumi know if he was still upset or if he had calmed down.

Ebumi sighed at Hana’s pathetic little display, and moved his leg so that he could crawl up to lay beside him. “I won’t.”

Hana nodded as if that were the end of their conversation, and sank back down into the pillows with his hands up in the air, waiting for Ebumi to join him with a hug and a kiss.

“Don’t you want to put your clothes back on?”

Hana rolled his eyes, sitting back up with a huff as he held his hand out.  Ebumi passed him the shirt and underwear he had picked out, clothes soft and loose enough that they wouldn’t agitate the sore skin on Hana’s shoulders or hips. Ebumi watched him closely as he pulled the shirt over his head, his bed mussed hair only getting worse as the collar dragged over it. 

Hana flopped down on the bed when he was dressed, blankets tangled around his legs as he waited for Ebumi to lay beside him.  But Ebumi hesitated, not sure if Hana trusted him enough to be gentle with him.

He wasn’t sure if he trusted himself. He could still feel Hana’s legs shaking in his hands. Could still hear the wet sound of Hana’s sniffs as he covered his face with his hands.  He’d made Hana cry before, but this time was by far the worst.

“Stop thinking and get that ugly look off your face.”

Ebumi snapped his head up, glaring down at his stupid little boyfriend.  Hana had scooted as close to the wall as he possibly could, leaving plenty of room for Ebumi to lay down beside him.  Ebumi plopped down, sprawling out before grabbing Hana and pulling him to his chest.

Hana shrieked, the feeling of Ebumi’s hands grabbing at him almost too much for him to handle until he felt Ebumi’s fingers gently pulling through his hair, flattening it out and laying it right.   Ebumi’s hands tracing little boring patterns on his back eased his heart rate, making his head feel heavy and strained as if willing him to sleep. 

“Let’s do this again some time.”

Hana’s sleepy little voice cut through the quiet room, and Ebumi paused his gentle exploration of Hana’s back to kiss his hair.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“This. I mean, what the hell is this? All I have to do to get you to treat me right is to get you to beat me up first?”

Ebumi winced, squeezing Hana tighter to try and get him to shut up again. He was so much more pleasant when he was quiet.

“I can treat you right all the time.  You just never acted like that’s what you wanted.”

Hana shrugged, bumping Ebumi’s chin with the top of his head as he finally returned Ebumi’s hug.  “I didn’t know that was what I want.”

Ebumi rolled his eyes, so tempted to pinch Hana’s ass in response. But instead, he just made himself comfortable, rolling onto his back and resting Hana’s head on his shoulder.  Hana was so impossible sometimes. Ebumi was never going to be able to figure out what this shitty little kid wanted, even if he tried.

But that didn’t mean he would stop trying. Because Ebumi agreed with Hana. This? This was nice. This quiet, sleepy silence, where they could just enjoy each other’s presence and feel each other’s warmth was nice.

Unfortunately, both of them were assholes who used cutting words and physical threats to get their points across, and this moment, despite it being one Ebumi had wanted since they first started dating, was as foreign to them as the surface of mars.

Ebumi wanted this.  This gentle touch and soft skin and whispered words that made everything else in the world seem insignificant. This was why he had asked Hana to actually date him in the first place, so that these moments could be his and his alone.

He didn’t want to share Hana with anyone else.

He didn’t want to be threatened with the possibility of losing him.

He hated how they had gotten to this point, with the possibility of everything he didn’t want being thrown right in to his face.

But now they were here.

Hana, asleep on his chest as Ebumi drew small circles into his lower back.

He was falling asleep himself, lulled into a foggy calm by the beat of Hana’s heart against his side.

They were here, and it would be easier to get back here, to this peaceful, gentle calm now that they had figured out what they both wanted.

Ebumi would talk to him tomorrow about his words, so that they never found their way back here through such unseemly means again.

But they would be back. To kiss and hold each other and feel each other’s hearts, and not just because they were making up after something awful.

They would be back because they both wanted to be.

**Author's Note:**

> An attempt to fulfill a request on tumblr that I just couldn't pass up! I hope this lived up to what the asker was hoping for because I did my best. Currently still accepting headcannon and drabble requests on my main tumblr, ebumimasaru!


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